Diet Tips


The fast diet method is used by 98% of all slimmers.
It is real dumb.
It never works.
Here’s how it goes:

  1. Spend a few years eating rubbish. Get very fat.
    2. Develop all sorts of bad eating habits.
    3. Suddenly decide to lose weight.
    4. Search for a fast diet. You are in a hurry to get slim.
    5. Choose one that offers AMAZING INSTANT weight loss.
    6. Follow it for 14 days.
    7. Lose weight.
    8. Stop dieting, regain all lost weight, go on self-mutiliation binge.
    9. Repeat every three months, from Step 3 onwards.

Perhaps I exaggerate, but this is how most people try to lose weight.
The amazing thing is, they CARRY ON LIKE THIS. They never learn! Why do they behave like this? Because most people believe in fairies – or at least they WANT to.

Only last week, I had a client (weighing 160 pounds) who said to me: “I have to lose 30 pounds by Dec 3rd, because it’s my 21st birthday.” I replied that her body didn’t care whether she was 21 or 101. It wouldn’t lose that amount of weight by December 3rd. And even if it did, it would regain it all, the moment she stopped. But she COULD lose a safe 18-20 pounds. Was that all right? She gave me a look which said – “What good is THAT?” See what I mean? Most slimmers want to believe in fairies, and no amount of straight talking will persuade them otherwise.


This method is used by less than 2% of slimmers.
It sounds incredibly boring.
It always works.
Here’s how it goes:

  1. Spend a few years eating rubbish. Get very fat.
    2. Develop all sorts of bad eating habits.
    3. Decide that it’s time to change.
    4. Start looking for a sensible, slow diet.(Like the Anne Collins Diet)
    5. Choose one that recommends less fat but more starchy carbos.(Like the Anne Collins Diet)
    6. Follow it carefully for 3 months.
    7. Lose at least 25 pounds (more if you are 170 pounds+)
    8. Because weight loss is slow but steady, your eating habits change which means you don’t regain the weight you’ve lost.
    9. If necessary, stay on it for 12 months and lose 100 pounds.
    0. You never have to ‘diet’ again because you are eating so well. This diet method never fails. Trust me.

1. It’s easier to stick to, because you don’t get hungry and tempted. Why not? Because starchy carbos keep you full. NB. Starchy carbos inc: wholemeal bread, potatoes, rice (ideally brown), pasta, vegetables, fruit, beans, cereal (ideally, good quality muesli).
2. It’s good for weight loss because low-fat means less fattening. Ask any doctor or any nutritionist.
3. You feel more energetic and much healthier. Why? Because it’s good for digestion, good for your immune system (cancer) and very good for your heart. Ask any heart or cancer specialist.
4. It helps to change your eating habits which is the only way to succeed. Except prayer, of course.

The CARMEN study, published lately in the International Journal of Obesity, revealed how increasing carbohydrate intake can help weight control. This study demonstrated that when volunteers increased their consumption of carbohydrates and reduced their consumption of fat, they were able to lose body fat and maintain this weight loss without counting calories or embarking on awkward or life-changing slimming regimes.

Also, experts at the high profile symposium entitled ‘Carbohydrates – Fact and Fiction’ which finished recently at the Royal College of Surgeons in Dublin, confirmed the importance of low-fat high-carbo eating.

Wendy is fat and miserable. She is only 19 but she weighs 200 pounds. Why?
Because she doesn’t eat properly.

She skips meals (mistake 1) and snacks on junk (mistake 2). Her parents are always telling her to ‘eat a proper dinner’ but Wendy is afraid to eat (mistake 3). She thinks a small amount of junk is better than a plateful of real food (mistake 4). So Wendy hangs around doing nothing (mistake 5) and getting more and more depressed about her figure (mistake 6).

Then one day, after someone comments on the size of her thighs, Wendy flips and gets hysterical. I’ve GOT to lose weight, she decides. So she finds a diet supposedly used by Jennifer Film-Star (yeah, right!) and eats next to nothing for 2 weeks. (Hello! It’s the Fast Diet method!)

Why does she choose such a dumb diet?
For the same reason that millions of other dieters choose it. She thinks weight loss is a fixed process. (Like learning a poem). She thinks she can cram it into a short space of time. She thinks if she tries REALLY HARD for a few weeks she’ll solve the problem. Poor old Wendy.

So what happens?
Wendy lasts about a week and loses 4 pounds. Then her body goes crazy with hunger and sends an ultimatum to her brain: “Either, phone out for pizza, or else I’m going to have a nervous breakdown.” Result? Goodbye diet. Wendy will continue to behave like this every few months with exactly the same results.
Poor old Wendy.

Multiple Choice Question
What would Wendy say if you suggested to her that maybe she ought to try the Slow Diet Method?

  1. a) That sounds like a good idea. Obviously fast diets don’t work.
    b) A slow diet? What sort of a jerk do you think I am?

Clue: It’s not (a)

The Fast Diet Method does not work. So don’t waste any more of your precious time trying to achieve fast weight loss. It’s an illusion. If you really want to lose weight, take things slowly and concentrate on developing good eating habits. This slower method will help you to lose about 25 pounds a quarter, or 100 pounds a year – which should be fast enough for anyone. Unless you’re a Wendy. Get the picture?